Blog Post #1: How Writing Has Helped Heal Me
Understanding Life with Borderline Personality Disorder
By accordingtodes / November 15, 2025
Haylee Hemphill has been living with Borderline Personality Disorder from a young age. While working on improving her mental health, she was involved in a traumatic car accident that almost took her life. Haylee has turned to writing to support her mental, emotional, and physical healing.
ABOUT BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
“Borderline personality disorder is a serious mental illness that affects how a person feels about themselves and others and makes it hard to function in everyday life. The disorder often involves difficulty regulating emotions, leading to impulsivity, an unstable or often changing sense of self, and troubled relationships with others.”
Possible Symptoms:
- Intense mood swings
- Uncertainty about how they see themselves
- Their interests, values, and feelings can change quickly
- They also tend to view things in extremes, such as all good or all bad.
- Avoiding real or perceived abandonment
- A pattern of intense and unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones
- High sensitivity to rejection and feelings of alienation or isolation
- A distorted and unstable self-image or sense of self
- Chronic feelings of emptiness
- Problems controlling anger
- Dissociation
- Self-harm
Haylee opens up about living with BPD and the accident that almost took her life
You’ve been open about living with multiple mental illnesses, including Borderline Personality Disorder, and experiencing trauma. Can you share what symptoms you were struggling with and how they show up in your daily life?
Uncontrollable anger/rage has to be the hardest symptom to deal with, along with the major fear of abandonment. As soon as something doesn’t go my way, feels off, or triggers a memory of past trauma, I can go into a blacked-out rage. It has caused serious issues in my life and has even gotten people in legal trouble when they were simply defending themselves from my wrath. My fear of abandonment adds to this. Due to past trauma as a child and ongoing trauma as I got older, I fear being abandoned. If I feel as if someone is about to leave me, in such a simple way, including a delayed text message, I go into fight or flight mode. My whole world feels like it’s about to end, and I must do anything and everything to stop said person from leaving me. This usually leads to angry outbursts and uncontrollable emotions.
How did these symptoms impact your schooling, relationships, and work?
I couldn’t function correctly. I ended up homeschooling myself during my 10th-grade year until I graduated my senior year. This was due to severe anxiety attacks that I could not manage. Keeping a job has felt near impossible. My anxiety doesn’t allow me to work with the public, so it’s hard to find a job to begin with. When I am employed, as soon as I have one bad day, I don’t even show up to work. Depression consumes me, and I can’t get out of bed.
What supports could employers put in place to support their employees to be successful in their employment?
Employers could add extra free break times for those with BPD. They should also accommodate “mental health days.” And not punishing the employee for taking care of themselves.
Were family, friends, or partners supportive of your mental health?
My mother has been my biggest supporter. She understands mental health in her own ways and has always gone above and beyond to support me and keep me going. I am beyond grateful to have her support.
How can friends and family support their loved one with BPD?
By being patient and understanding. We don’t mean to act out or feel the way we do, but we do, and it’s always all or nothing. Don’t take it personally; we regret our painful actions.
What are some of the biggest misconceptions people have about BPD?
One of the biggest misconceptions of BPD is that those who suffer from it are just manipulative and attention-seeking. What people often label as “manipulative” is usually someone trying to survive emotional chaos the only way they know how. For someone with BPD, those impulsive or intense reactions aren’t about controlling anyone; they’re just raw, messy attempts to deal with pain and the fear of being abandoned.
Another misconception is that BPD and Bipolar are the same thing. BPD and bipolar get mixed up a lot, but they’re pretty different. People with BPD can go through intense emotional shifts in a single day; sometimes even hour to hour, especially when relationships feel shaky. Bipolar is more about longer mood episodes, like depression or mania, that stick around for weeks or months. So, it’s not just about how strong the emotions are, it’s how fast they change and what sets them off.
What treatments or strategies have helped manage your symptoms of BPD? Were you seeing a therapist?
I have not had much luck or good experiences with managing my symptoms with therapy, but we are all affected differently. So, just because something didn’t work for me doesn’t mean it won’t work for you!
Can you share how the traumatic car accident you survived impacted your mental health?
This traumatic experience was very hard on me. For a while, it caused a lot of suicidal thoughts. I was in so much pain and discomfort, and completely angry at the world. “Why me?” I’m not very good at adapting to change. My depression became severely worse, and my anxiety was always through the roof. I didn’t want to suffer anymore, and I always thought something bad was going to happen to me again. It became very exhausting.
How did you struggle emotionally and physically after the accident?
Physically, I was broken; very literally. I had 9 broken ribs on one side, two broken knees, a crushed femur, a broken ankle, hand, and foot. I was bed-bound for 6 months before I could even start to try and put weight on my legs again. Relearning how to walk was no easy feat.
After 6 surgeries on my worse leg from 2020-2022, my surgeon didn’t know what else to do for me. In 2023, they sent me across the state, where I underwent one more surgery. A 3D printed bone took the place of my shattered femur. Since then, healing has actually started, but it will
take a few more years for healing to be complete.
How has your physical and emotional recovery journey been over these past five years, since the accident?
Starting out, I was miserable in every way. As time went on, I learned to appreciate the little things and not take anything for granted. It took awhile, but writing out my emotions through poetry and song, and my experience through my award-winning screenplay, I was able to heal. Maybe not fully in a physical aspect, but it made things easier when I learned to accept my new life for what it was. I was saved from the accident by an amazing man, but writing saved me, too.
What have been some of the most challenging parts of healing, both physically and mentally, from the car accident, your traumatic experiences, and BPD?
The most challenging parts of my healing journey have been living with change, breaking free from fear, and learning to love myself again. I had to get used to the new me. The one in constant pain, walked with a limp, was terrified of everything, and had so much anger pent up inside me.
None of it was easy to manage. Through loving support and a lot of writing, I got through it.
How did you discover that writing was healing for you?
I have loved writing poetry since I was a child. When my world felt like it was falling apart, I tuned into my emotions by writing them out. I wanted to resonate with people without simply stating “I’m depressed…,” “I’m broken…,” etc. Poetry became my form of journaling and a way to
express what I couldn’t just say.
What words of wisdom or advice do you have for those struggling with their BPD symptoms?
Don’t give up on yourself. I know that’s hard to do with BPD because we are constantly fighting our own minds inside our heads. However, never give up on the real you.
What words of advice or wisdom do you have for those who have experienced trauma?
Experiencing trauma is not the end of the line. Though very challenging, overcoming your trauma is possible. Life may feel hopeless when you’re stuck inside your mind or your physical abilities are taken away from you, but it truly isn’t. Those who experience trauma have the ability to look at life in a more positive manner if they really dig deep. You can learn to appreciate the little things and use your recovery to inspire others who may have gone through something very similar. Never give up on moving forward; take it one step at a time.